Conversations With My Mother

Happy Birthday to my Dear Mother

My mother has been gone less than two years. She would have been 69 today. Death is so final for the living. And yet, it’s been one of my greatest teachers. I am far from an atheist and have no … Continue reading

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You Can’t Be Mad At The Dead, or How Loss Gave Me A New Perspective

I’ve never known elegance in the face of loss. This might be one of the reasons I’ve documented so much of my life in journals. I’m just too afraid of losing even a moment, in spite of how many times … Continue reading

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Her crucifixion was a private event, just beneath her favorite sweater and moisturizer, walking around the world so tightly nailed to her old ideas about what’s required to be worthy. Lamenting how callous is life, with its tragedies far and … Continue reading

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Conversation With My Mother

My Mother: When you get to Cleveland, I want my ashes on the left side of Grandma Kay. Me: Ok. I could bring a little shovel. My Mother: Bring a bulb planter. Me: Oh, good idea. My Mother: Then, go … Continue reading

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Thinking about my mother….

When I was little, my mother’s car broke down and we were stranded on the side of the road – at some point a group of Hell’s Angels pulled over. I was scared but my mother told me not to … Continue reading

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Episode 322 of Me Talking To Dead People (or, perhaps me having another psychotic episode :) )

My Mother: Jess, listen to me. These people you’re upset about… These people painting their faces with black paint… These people talking about sending Jews to the ovens… These people who say that women should have the baby after they’ve … Continue reading

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Starkness

It’s been 8 months today since my mother left the planet. I don’t think I’ve ever been weighted down by starkness the way I have since. Not that anyone could see it on the outside, but a private starkness that … Continue reading

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Peace

Little children are not self-centered at all. They are present-centered. Whatever’s happening right now is what they’re centered in. If they’re angry right now they’ll be angry. Hungry right now, they’ll be hungry. Need your attention right now, they will … Continue reading

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Missing my Mother

I never knew how horrible it was to lose someone. To live every day knowing you will never see them again. I bet it’s the underlying meaning of waiting for the messiah. If only she were to come back, I … Continue reading

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Filling the Urn Necklace

I had this thought, while I was trying to funnel my mother’s ashes into the tiny opening of this urn necklace I got. Well, first, let me tell you that this was no easy feat. Not the ritual I’d hoped … Continue reading

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