Episode 322 of Me Talking To Dead People (or, perhaps me having another psychotic episode :) )

My Mother:

Jess, listen to me. These people you’re upset about… These people painting their faces with black paint… These people talking about sending Jews to the ovens… These people who say that women should have the baby after they’ve been raped, and those same people who applaud sending troops to bomb the shit out of some place in the name of freedom without understanding who the fuck they’re bombing – millions of unborn children… Please. Listen to me, honey… Angry people have no fucking idea what they’re talking about. They have no fucking idea what they’re doing. They never have. They never will. It’s only in peace that people have the capacity to understand a glimmer of what’s real because in peace is the only time they’re able to see beyond their own pain… Ok? Do you see what I mean, Jess? Do peaceful people go around shouting that god wants them dead? Do they, honey? Of course not. People who say this sort of shit are in so much fucking internal pain that releasing it on others is the only way they know how to get rid of it. And if you choose to internalize someone else’s pain, honey, and you catch their virus of anger, you will be incapable of understanding this truth of what’s really going on, and you will also be incapable of finding any peace for yourself. You will only be capable of distracting yourself from this truth – by either finding someone who’ll agree with you, or turning on your stupid fucking computer and zoning out, or shoving a pizza or a pill down your throat. Honey, here’s the truth- there is no heaven on earth. So stop trying to find heaven on earth. What you need to do instead is figure out a way to survive on earth while also preparing for eternity. And believe me, honey, you don’t want a lot of anger when you die, because it’s a real bitch to unravel. And guess who’s over here helping you? You, and your team of angels and demons. So get to know them well while you’re there, sweetie. The angels are always speaking to you. And your demons are not fanged-toothed – they are only trying to help you survive in the ways they think you need to, because they’re so afraid of being forgotten forever. Demons are just egos, honey. They’re like PR people on crack, ok? They’re nothing to be afraid of, unless you let them run your whole life. Here’s what’s real: You’re born with one homeopathic drop of god… and the rest is whatever wisdom or insanity you’ve inherited from your parents or lack of, from television, from the other disconnected disenfranchised people of earth, and from the time you spend alone listening to your angels and demons. Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but I will tell you what I know about dying. What I know about dying, honey, is that other people don’t come with you. And when you don’t have to be better or worse than anyone anymore, what do you think you’re left with? Not the color of your skin. Not your best haircut. Not your holy book or your stupid fucking internet… You’re left with the thought, “Holy fucking shit – all those people were not who I thought they were. They were me, and I was them. They may have had more or less layers of bullshit, but they had the same homeopathic drop of god that I did. And shame on me for not smiling at every single one of them and asking how they were doing in their moment and a half on earth.” And you’ll have to unravel all the reasons why you weren’t willing to be courageous enough to be your pure loving self for others without expecting anything in return, including your dignity. All these ridiculous ideas about living a certain way and going to some hell or some heaven? Please. All the formalities of every religion are left with your pants and shoes. When your heart is eternal, all you do is weep for all the time you wasted believing your fears and judgments were real. Honey, if you choose peace and understanding, everyone is equal, no matter what sorts of mistakes they make. That’s hard to understand. I know. And I’m talking about even the most angry people. Because who they are underneath all that sludge, is you. Ok? Now some people are shiny by nature. For whatever reason, they have less pain. And they’re able to be the messengers of angels. And you will recognize them because they will love you and want to help you love yourself, because they see that you are a carrier of that drop of god. And I’m not talking about some human god who speaks, ok? God is way bigger than that. God is not a human thing, it’s a fucking life thing. So you are not going to meet god. You contain god. You will meet your angels – the most untarnished beings I could ever have imagined. And they will help you unravel every experience you ever had – with clarity, love, humor, and forgiveness- until all your pain and confusion are distilled into eternal peace, empathy and understanding. Angels are with you, honey, whether you believe it or not. Angels are with everyone. And when you realize this, I want you to take a good long look at all the people around you. I want you to give them an extra second of your presence, even if you are so very sure you know who they are… Because in that extra second of your presence, maybe they will surprise you and let you see their drop of god.

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