A Grudge and Forgiveness

These are two words that have lost the depth of their meaning for me.

 When I hear the word grudge, all I think of is a judgmental person who won’t let something go. And forgiveness—all I think of is how I’ll be a wiser person if I pretend not to be bothered by someone who has done me wrong.

 But now that I think of it, here in my car, fighting to stay awake after two days without sleep, I think I understand these words.A grudge is more like a snap shot of the moment I realized that someone betrayed me. And this snap shot is stained upon the image of that person, so that every thought I think about that person and every time I see them in the flesh, I don’t see who they may have become, I only see that stain superimposed right on their terrible face.And I get to dislike them again and again.Even though they might not even remember what they did.Forgiveness then, must be like the clorox that removes the stain, and lets the person have a chance to become someone new.Until they become a jerk again, and I have to take another snap shot.