Cycles of Healing
Girl crying.
Parent: Get ahold of yourself!
Little girl stops crying but feels worse somehow.
A little girl is so happy she pulls her dress over her nose with glee.
Parent: Your privates are showing!
Little girl puts dress down. Feels embarrassed about her privates. Says nothing.
Little girl in tears: I don’t like the gift. It’s not what I wanted.
Parent: How dare you be ungrateful!
Little girl pretends to like all gifts from that day forward.
Proud little girl in elementary school: Look! I wrote a short story!
Parent: Everything’s spelled wrong!
Little girl doesn’t share her short story with anyone else.
Little girl now in middle school: I’m so excited for our sleepover!
Friend: I’m sorry but we had too many people…maybe next time?
Little girl in high school: …I thought you said we were going out to dinner tonight?
Boyfriend: Oh sorry, you must have misunderstood.
Girl wonders if maybe she did misunderstand.
Little girl in college submitting book of poetry: Fingers crossed!
Return letter: Sorry, it’s just not right for us.
Girl’s Friend: It’s next to impossible to get published these days.
Little girl stops submitting.
Little girl now a grown woman: But I thought you said we were going to work on the new baby’s room this weekend. I was so excited.
Husband: Stop nagging. We’ll get to it when we get to it.
Little girl becomes a mother and her new baby is crying:
Mama: It’s ok, Baby. I’m here for you!
Mama: Hi Baby! I love you!
2 year old boy: I wuv you mama!
4 year old boy is so excited and happy he takes off all his clothes.
Mama: (laughing) I can see why you’d want to show your privates, they’re part of who you are! But in our culture we keep those parts of us private when we’re in public, or everyone would be naked all the time and that would be a little chaotic, don’t you think?
Little boy laughs.
Boy in elementary school: Mama I don’t like the gift.
Mama: Oh! Well we can return it for something you like more!
Boy: Yay! Thank you, Mama!
Mama: You’re welcome, honey!
Boy in middle school: Mama look! I wrote a story!
Mama: Oh honey! It’s wonderful! What a talent you are!
Boy: Did I make any mistakes?
Mama: The first draft isn’t about mistakes—it’s about sending your soul through your body and out into the world! Once it’s all out on paper the way it feels good to you, then you can groom it a bit if you’d like. And I’m always here if you need my help!
Boy: Ok! Thank you, Mama.
Boy in middle school: (in tears) Mama the school paper didn’t pick my story.
Mama: I hear you. That’s painful, huh. But I promise you, it has nothing to do with who you are. Things like that happen to everyone. You just keep writing. Never give up on the things that bring you meaning and joy! You’ll get published! You’ll see! I promise!
Boy: Ok.
Boy in high school: Mama, this girl in my english class said she was going to meet me by the cafeteria after school but she didn’t show up.
Mama: Aw honey, that must have hurt your heart.
Boy: It did.
Mama: Well remember—don’t make it mean anything about who you are. It’s almost impossible to know for sure why people behave the way they do. But I can promise you, it has nothing to do with who you are in your heart. You just keep being you and the right people will find you.
Boy: Ok.
Boy in college: Mama, I met someone new and she’s really kind. I want you to meet her.
Mama: I would love that, honey!
Boy: Mama, remember that short story that was rejected?
Mama: Yes.
Boy: Well it got accepted!
Mama: Oh honey! I’m so proud of you!
Boy: You were right! You just have to keep believing in yourself!
Mama: That’s right, honey!
Boy: Mama can we come over with the baby this afternoon?
Mama: Of course! I’d be delighted to see the three of you! Will you be staying for lunch?
Boy: If that’s ok!
Mama: I’d love that!
Mama to herself: Funny, I think while I was parenting that boy, I was also reparenting myself. You know what, I feel proud of myself. I think it’s time to start writing my own story.
-JLK