An Old Pep Talk With My Mother

My Mother: Jessica, how many times must I tell you—if you’re allowing other people to hurt your feelings, your feelings were already hurt. So let me ask you this: Are you just a giant vagina waiting to be fucked by everyone?

Me: No.

My Mother: Well, then. You're going to have put things in their proper place. Here’s where they go: Other people exist over there outside of you, and you exist inside of you. And you never allow toxic people inside you. If you still have hurt parts, it’s your job to heal them, not anyone else’s. But you also need to give yourself a fucking break, Jessica. You’re going through a sensitive time. You're alone in the woods, your dog just died, and you’re not thinking clearly. Why else would you go and look for approval for what you're doing in life from someone who is never going to give it to you?

Me: I guess I just don’t like that he thinks that way about me

My Mother: Well, guess what? You can't control what other people think of you. Can he control what you think of him?

Me: No.

My Mother: That’s right. So stop looking for standing ovations from other people and look in the mirror. That’s the person you want approval from. And next time you see him, don't tell him anything about you, just talk about things he’s interested in. Talk about Jesus, talk about the mob, talk about some fucking thing, other than you. And give him that aloofness that I know you know how to do so well. After all, you are my daughter.

Me: Thank you, Mother.

My Mother: Anytime, my darling.

-JLK